How to avoid things like the “women and nonbinary people” trap

Source: Alex Rupp / Penn State

Cisgender people’s attempts to navigate transgender identity — especially when trying to figure out how we fit into phenomena or sociopolitical issues typically seen as cleanly gendered—while sometimes undeniably well-intentioned, are often clumsy.

Examples include failing to account for us (e.g., acting like only men get prostate cancer), inclusion via misgendering, (e.g., including transgender men under one’s use of “female” as a noun, lumping both same-gender-attracted men and transgender women under “MSM” [“Men who have Sex with Men”] when discussing HIV), and excessive/unintentional inclusion (e.g., …

This is essentially a continuation of these three pieces discussing the various issues with the “pansexual” orientation label, which — while I recognize and respect that its existence was inevitable due to the early stages of societal awareness of transgender people — is largely rooted in misinformation about bisexual and transgender people. If this statement shocks you, you’re clearly new to my content, and I recommend clicking those links first. Please keep in mind that I also formerly identified as pansexual.Note: I use the phrase “self-identified pansexuals” rather than just “pansexuals” when discussing people who identify as pansexual. This…

Just because it doesn’t work out for some doesn’t mean it never works for anyone

Image from source

Several online publications and the like have discussed people who used to be transgender but have since stopped identifying as such. These outspoken individuals, often referred to as “detransitioners” or “ex-transgender,” typically express grief over their hormone therapy or surgery, frequently pointing to trauma, social pressure, or inadequate healthcare as the reasons they identified as transgender in the first place (not always the case, but the most common example we see).

Some people medically detransition due to health concerns, unrealistic expectations of the transition process, or simply not being able to afford to transition anymore. Others find discomfort with the…

Source: Scripps Media

I’ve extensively researched and compared the histories of bisexual and pansexual identity (the notions that bisexuality was ever widely — i.e., by LGBTQ organizations or literature — and explicitly defined as transgender-exclusive or inherently excluding any gender are both myths). During the main period I’ve done this, I’ve occasionally encountered some frustrating, barely comprehensible phenomena regarding the language used to describe and distinguish sexuality, sex, and gender categories.

For instance, some texts will assume things about “gender” and “sex” categories, then proceed to divide bisexuality and pansexuality by using one category (sex) to define bisexuality and the other (gender) to…

Illustration by Alex Yoon

Some of our general views of sex and gender have broken a bit from what they used to be. More people now see gender as malleable, where individuals’ genders can change from what doctors have assigned them at birth. The phrase “gender is a spectrum” (which I don’t particularly care for as a nonbinary person, but that’s neither here nor there) has spread considerably.

Even with that understanding, though, most still see sex as static.

Many people with a basic understanding of transness are familiar with its separation from gender (“sex is between your legs, gender is in your head”)…

Musings surrounding the infamous question: “Do transgender men have male privilege?”

Source: Garret Cattermole / Getty Images
DISCLAIMER: My arguments about male privilege regarding transgender men do not apply to specifically transgender communities or adjacent spaces. This piece is similarly not an attempt to argue for the existence of any kind of “(trans)misandry.”

Varying fervent viewpoints pop up in debates over how the patriarchy treats transgender folks as a whole. Looking exclusively at those who don’t intentionally misgender us, the question as to whether transgender women have male privilege is usually “of course not — they’re not men.” …

On what hair means to masculinity, what black hair means to white society, and what it all means to one black trans man

Image from source

One of the most exciting days in a typical transmasculine journey is sitting in that leather chair and watching the scissors go to town. And to be honest, the day I chopped off my frizzy fro in exchange for an undercut was a damn good day. I used to regard it as one of the best days of my life. Feeling those two slender blades shearing over a decade of pain from my mother’s tugging, hearing them bite through each clump of curls — it felt amazing. I was giddy on my way home. It was almost surreal. I will…

Source: Flikr, @torbakhopper

I see myself as empathetic. I believe the best way to get someone to change their mind about something is to try seeing the issue the way they do and work from there.

That still doesn’t always work.

I come to numerous realizations as I continue moving through the world, especially through my transgender and nonbinary identities. I’ve noticed, for one, that the current strifes that the transgender community faces — being seen as a mental illness, predatory, or purely sexually motivated— mirror the struggles that same-gender-attracted people go through. Though, very few people realize history is currently repeating itself…

Source: HiPWallpaper

This is the final installment of the “interviewing people about their experiences with the ‘pansexual’ label” series. The first two parts are here and here, and all the Google Form results (i.e., including the ones omitted in this piece) are here. The title is the final question on the form, which I felt deserved its own story. Responses are edited when needed for clarity.


Stop assuming bisexuals are transphobic/panphobic/omniphobic or whatever and instead ask yourself where you’re getting these assumptions. Then ask yourself what makes you any different from a bi person in terms of who you’re attracted to, not…

Source: HiPWallpaper

This is part 2 of this article in which I interview people’s experiences with the pansexual label and self-identified pansexuals. This time, instead of only asking about their experiences with the label, I set up a survey with both demographic-seeking and open-ended questions to provide more nuance. Not all responses are included here, but you can view them all here.

Note: Text responses have been edited or cut when needed for clarity. The statistics below may differ very slightly from the spreadsheet. As of today, there are 164 responses.

Basic Demographics

Have you identified as pansexual in the past?

Yes (50.3%)
No, but I identified as another label such as poly/omnisexual…

Kravitz M.

A black, bisexual, nonbinary, pseudonymous “man.” He/him. Consider supporting me!

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